Watch TV With Your Family

Watching television like they did in the  1950s—and watching classic shows—can strengthen family ties

A recent study found positive outcomes for families that used media such as TV, movies and the Internet ‘as a tool—to laugh together, to become informed, to connect, to spark discussion.

By JENNIFER BREHENY WALLACE


Sixty years ago, television served as a center of family home life. Today, the average American owns four digital devices on which to consume media, according to Nielsen. Back then, three networks dominated; now the average home has 189 channels to choose from. And according to a recent report by Deloitte, 90% of viewers multitask while watching TV, busying themselves with things like social networking, Web surfing, emailing and texting.

All the same, recent studies suggest that viewing media as a family can still be a great way to bond. A paper published this past summer in the Journal of Adolescent Research reviewed longitudinal data on 633 adolescents and their parents. It found positive outcomes for families that used media such as TV, movies and the Internet “as a tool—to laugh together, to become informed, to connect, to spark discussion.” Such shared activities led to greater levels of personal disclosure for adolescent boys, more positive family functioning for adolescent girls and greater parental involvement for both.

Television also can be an effective tool for improving social-emotional skills in young children, but parents have to be choosy. In a study published last year in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, researchers assessed which programs most encouraged such learning. “Look for shows that focus on altruistic behaviors like sharing and cooperation,” says lead researcher Claire Christensen of the University of Illinois at Chicago, and avoid those that rely too much on negative behaviors to teach a lesson. “Children whose parents explicitly talk about the shows’ lessons immediately afterwards,” she says, “are more likely to learn” positive social skills.

Finding family-friendly shows to watch together is a challenge today, says Melissa Henson, national grassroots director of the Parents Television Council, a Los Angeles-based media watchdog group. In a recent report, the council reviewed 21 family-centric shows that aired in the last several months of 2013 and found that 99% of episodes contained some form of adult content, like sex, violence or profanity.

“Families want shows that are ‘safe’ to watch together, and they’re not getting them on today’s broadcast television,” says Ms. Henson. Some of her group’s members are returning to classics like “Little House on the Prairie.”

Mary Anne Hunting, a New York mother of 9-year-old twins, likes to watch “Mayberry R.F.D.” and “The Andy Griffith Show” with her family when her own mother visits. “We laugh and laugh,” she says. Unlike many shows today, “old shows worked for multiple generations.”

Whatever shows parents watch with their children, here are some tips for making the most of family TV:

Label what you see. To build social and emotional skills in younger children, it helps to label what they see on the screen, says Dr. Christensen. As they get older, she says, talk about what causes the TV character’s emotions, so that children begin to understand how emotions form. “Try as much as you can to relate those TV lessons back to your child’s own life experiences,” she adds.

Resist binging. Before VCRs and on-demand viewing, TV fans would schedule their week around their favorite shows. Enjoy the anticipation of watching one show at a time, and maximize its impact by taking the week after seeing it to talk about the moral of the story.

Let teens choose. When teens pick a program, you can get insight into their interests, and it may make them more apt to talk about the show later. If you are doing the choosing, try to match their interests: the 1990s sitcom “Friends,” for example, might get conversations going with an older teen, says the Parents Television Council.

Laugh together. Lots of family settings bring power dynamics and generational tensions into play, but watching funny programs together often serves to collapse these differences. Evolutionary biologists theorize that we laugh to build social bonds. Use it to strengthen family connections.

Make a tradition. The consistency of family traditions, like watching a certain show together every week or even the same holiday special each year, can bring children a sense of security and belonging. While watching, put away the many available distractions and build the kind of memory that everyone can look back on for years to come.

—Ms. Wallace is a freelance writer in New York and a contributing editor to EmpoweringParents.com